Jason & I had dinner with a dear couple the other night. The wife & I began a discussion about the difficulties of juggling Bible study with motherhood. Failing to consistently study my Bible has been an ongoing struggle for me for years. She has already survived the season that I am in, so I listened attentively to her advice. In the past, others have made excuses for me, "God understands this is a busy season in your life". I don't buy it. I don't believe that God blessed me with 4 beautiful children just for me, in return, to put Him on the back burner. It is so important that I make Him my #1 priority so that I can adequately reflect Him to my husband, children & others that I come in contact with. She shared a website with me that will send me daily devotions via e-mail. I usually find these things to be super cheesy, but this one in particular seems, so far, to be straight scripture with thoughts for application minus the sappy stories. I pray that I will be faithful as I strive for consistency in my daily Christian walk. In addition to my readings, I am trying to be more aware of my daily blessings & the wonder of God's creation. I'm also attempting to take a breather before yelling at my children, bless their hearts. This morning I went outside with them instead of staying in to fold clothes or veg on the couch watching t.v. as I normally would. It's a beautiful day, a little warm, but bearable. I walked the 2 girls around in the wagon. I think it was the first time for both of them- how sad is that? They sat so still & really enjoyed stopping to pick little flowers for me to stick behind my ear. We even found a lone dandelion for Victoria to wish on (she wished to be a ballerina). It was a precious time and I enjoyed just taking it all in. My oldest son is at basketball camp for the morning, but I also have my nephew for the day. He & my youngest son enjoyed building things out of sand, rocks, leaves & sticks. I love to see how the kids naturally fall into their God given gender roles. Not that my girls can't build with the best of them, but they prefer their purses and heels. I love it!
Thank you Jesus for reminding me that I'm not perfect, but that my goal is to live a life worthy of you. Thank you for equipping me with everything I need to do so. Help me walk in the truth of what I already know instead of begging you for what I've already been given; self control, power & discipline. Help me be a light to my family and everyone I come in contact with. Amen!

opportunity lost?

A week ago I had a hair appointment, but was still not able to drive due to my surgery, so my sweet husband chauffeured me on his way to work. He had an appointment that started earlier than mine, so I planned to grab a quick breakfast at the coffee shop next door to my salon while I waited. I had seen Java Lounge many times, but had never actually gone in. It was very artsy and reminded me a lot of my past- a little dark & rebellious. A young man lingered up the the counter to take my order after I had been standing there for several minutes. He reminded me a little of Jack Sparrow- even though I've never seen any of the PotC movies. There was even a pirate plaque hanging behind him on the wall. He was friendly, but I couldn't help but notice his different appearance. He had a rimmed hat on, black eyeliner, a shirt with the top 3 buttons undone, and black nail polish. I don't think I was being judgemental of him, just very curious. He took his time preparing my order & didn't seem concerned about the line that was forming behind me. I was in no rush. In fact, I was enjoying the low-key atmosphere. It was relaxing, well, except for some of the goary artwork. When he finished with my breakfast, I took it and had a seat by a window. I updated my Facebook status to declare I was enjoying a peaceful breakfast at Java Lounge then sat back observing the people who came and went as I ate. I am a spectator. I could sit at the mall for hours & just watch people. I find them fascinating. I just love to try to figure out what makes people tick- why they act the way they do. This "pirate" that had served me really captured my attention- don't get the wrong idea- it wasn't any sort of attraction. When I was in jr. high & high school, I was drawn to be friends with his type; the underdog who usually rebelled because they didn't have a crowd to fit into. I always wanted to fix, or help them. I finished my meal- threw away my trash, thanked him & walked to my hair appointment.
This evening I sat at this computer and checked out our local newspaper's website. A headline read "local man featured in recent article killed in accident. 'click here to see article'". I couldn't believe my eyes. There was his picture, along with 2 of his friends. The article was about self proclaiming "bohemians" who go against the flow of modern society. One of his friends stated that some people go through life asking questions and some don't. He said that he does ask himself questions about what this life is all about. I have the answer to that question!!! If my server would've asked me, would I have been bold enough to tell him? Should I have waited for him to ask? I feel like I missed a wonderful opportunity to share the gift of eternal life with a young man who may not have had a clue. My heart is seriously grieved over this guy and his friends. The opportunity is gone- he's dead. Wow.